you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
