Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
