Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
