my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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