We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
