What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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