People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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