i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize