There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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