I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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