I want to walk on stilts...naked
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
