oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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