Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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