am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize