you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
