Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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