you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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