just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
