it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
