dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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