Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
