I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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