We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
