i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
