Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
