Already got asked if we're dating
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
