I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
