I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
