kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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