I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
ttyl tear gas
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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