There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
