oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
