no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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