See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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