You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Fuck appropriateness.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
