call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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