He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
