I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize