if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
