She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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