I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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