i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
