Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Barsexuality is the new black.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
