Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I forgot how hot balto sounded
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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