i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
