I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Such a big mess for such a small penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
