Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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