i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
