that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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