If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
