i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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