You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
