Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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