you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
