His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There r osticjed everywhere
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
