She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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