i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
