Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
