I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
