whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think i have two assholes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
